Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Blanket Retraction: Sean Avery

Here at CCR’s Puck Bunny Stew we girls Juice and Jojo certainly have fun admiring and discussing the amazing physiology of the men who play our favorite sport.

However, sometimes we are reminded that no amount of whip cream licking or bare chested gorgeousness can overcome repugnant character.

In the wake of the Sean Avery “Sloppy Seconds” comment, I have now seen two interviews with the guy, courtesy of my new obsession: the NHL Network. (Thanks JHRangers, like I need more hockey in my life).

As said, I have seen two interviews with Avery where the facial expression, tone and attitude of this young (?) man rendered me speechless. Between saying no one cares about Iginla and obviously being pathetically bitter that Dion Phaneuf is dating his ex-girlfriend, Sean Avery has never more clearly shown himself to be a classless maroon both on and off the ice.

No amount of airbrushed, Vogue shot abdominals can overcome that for this Puck Bunny.

Accordingly, Sean Avery is removed from any list I have ever made involving any hot gorgeous talent men. In fact, I’m so disgusted by Avery that as soon as I can find another replacement, I’m even removing him from my fantasy team.

I hasten to add, Bravo Gary Bettman for taking a huge step in upholding the class and dignity of this league and not letting Avery turn it into the NBA. The world needs another Kobe like Avery needs publicity stunt lessons from Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

Further, cheers to the Dallas Stars organization for their strong statement announcing the position that if the league hadn’t suspended him, they would have.

Its obvious from other interviews, that that Avery’s current team mates find his adolescent antics trying. I practically busted a nut when Turco called Avery “the Show”, with a look on his face clearly conveying that many on that the team are resigned to merely tolerating Avery. I suspect most of the Stars are relived to find he will be gone- indefinitely.

Via this controversy, a picture is clearly being painted of Mr. Avery’s on and off ice behavior and its as clear as zamboni scraped ice that Sean Avery is a classless, unintelligent sot. Please don’t argue, he is a publicity mastermind who know how to attract attention, because this league doesn’t need abusive classless gossip girl antics.

In my mind, Avery is hockey’s equivalent of Britney Spears (pre-conservatorship): Trying very hard to compensate for a lack of talent, and for not being the whole package with belligerence and absurd antics ….Double entendre intended.

Honestly, while Sean Avery never sat very high up on my puck bunny hotness list, no amount of beauty outside can ever overcome a rotten flawed character.

Bring on Ignila- have you seen how hot he looks shirtless???? NOTHING BORING ABOUT THAT!