Blanket Retraction: Sean Avery

Here at CCR’s Puck Bunny Stew we girls Juice and Jojo certainly have fun admiring and discussing the amazing physiology of the men who play our favorite sport.

However, sometimes we are reminded that no amount of whip cream licking or bare chested gorgeousness can overcome repugnant character.

In the wake of the Sean Avery “Sloppy Seconds” comment, I have now seen two interviews with the guy, courtesy of my new obsession: the NHL Network. (Thanks JHRangers, like I need more hockey in my life).

As said, I have seen two interviews with Avery where the facial expression, tone and attitude of this young (?) man rendered me speechless. Between saying no one cares about Iginla and obviously being pathetically bitter that Dion Phaneuf is dating his ex-girlfriend, Sean Avery has never more clearly shown himself to be a classless maroon both on and off the ice.

No amount of airbrushed, Vogue shot abdominals can overcome that for this Puck Bunny.

Accordingly, Sean Avery is removed from any list I have ever made involving any hot gorgeous talent men. In fact, I’m so disgusted by Avery that as soon as I can find another replacement, I’m even removing him from my fantasy team.

I hasten to add, Bravo Gary Bettman for taking a huge step in upholding the class and dignity of this league and not letting Avery turn it into the NBA. The world needs another Kobe like Avery needs publicity stunt lessons from Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

Further, cheers to the Dallas Stars organization for their strong statement announcing the position that if the league hadn’t suspended him, they would have.

Its obvious from other interviews, that that Avery’s current team mates find his adolescent antics trying. I practically busted a nut when Turco called Avery “the Show”, with a look on his face clearly conveying that many on that the team are resigned to merely tolerating Avery. I suspect most of the Stars are relived to find he will be gone- indefinitely.

Via this controversy, a picture is clearly being painted of Mr. Avery’s on and off ice behavior and its as clear as zamboni scraped ice that Sean Avery is a classless, unintelligent sot. Please don’t argue, he is a publicity mastermind who know how to attract attention, because this league doesn’t need abusive classless gossip girl antics.

In my mind, Avery is hockey’s equivalent of Britney Spears (pre-conservatorship): Trying very hard to compensate for a lack of talent, and for not being the whole package with belligerence and absurd antics ….Double entendre intended.

Honestly, while Sean Avery never sat very high up on my puck bunny hotness list, no amount of beauty outside can ever overcome a rotten flawed character.

Bring on Ignila- have you seen how hot he looks shirtless???? NOTHING BORING ABOUT THAT!

Juice and Jojo’s All Stars

Alright. By now you have probably heard of all the controversy surrounding the All-Star Voting. Personally I am not the sort of person who watches the All-Star game. Oh, I take a huge sense of pride in hearing my boys in red have made the team, tempered by righteous indignation over the fact that not EVERY Red Wing made the team. But other than that, I could care less.

I wondered what would make me watch a team stacked with guys who were not Red Wings, and I realized: a team of All-Star Hotties. Then, courtesy of last weeks listenership at www.blogtalkradio.com/nhlcr Sunday Worship Puck Bunny Stew, I remembered someone had suggested “Strip Hockey” and of course that made me think of Hockey players naked.

I rushed to the phone and told Jo that we had to come up with our own All-Star Strip Hockey Teams: 1 LW, RW, C, 2 Defense, 1 Goalie, 2 Bench. That they had to include guys who had bared “just enough” in photos found on the Internet, and we had to pick guys other than our own Wings and Sharks.

Of course, it would be lovely if we had broken them out into East v. West, but srsly, who has that kind of time? It was sunny today and I have new rollerblades- the beach called.

So then we thought,"Hey: Juice’s All-Stars versus Jojo’s All-Stars." Great, until we both pick the same guy….and we did. Never the less here are our picks

Juice’s NHL All-Stars

Left Wing: Markus Naslund (Rangers)

This photo is not of Naslund half naked, but they are out there and they are magnificent.

Honorable mentions: Removed.

Right Wing: Antoine Vermette (Ottawa) and Vincent LeCavalier (Lighting)

Oh Ladies, there just wasn’t anyway to choose here. Lawd these boys are fine.

Honorable Mentions: Jerome Ignila, Jason Arnott

Center: Alexi Kovalov (Habs)

Oh Thigh! The other white meat. Look at those legs, why that body is a pretty as a package, speaking of which….

Defense: Roman Hamrlik (Habs) & Francois Boullion(Habs)

Truthfully I think Nico and Lilja are the finest mofo defensemen ever, but rules are rules. Montreal seems to know how to recruit hot men thought….

Sorry, it just slipped…

Goalies- Henrik Lunquist (Rangers) and Rick Diepietro (NY). I’m sorry there was no other way…how could you choose between these two fine speci-Men:

Yes I am imagining him licking all that whip cream off of me…Oh to be a goalie helmet.

Warriors come out and play….

Honorable mention: Jose Theodore, Cristo Huet, Chris Osgood, Niitymaki

Bench: Ethan Moreau and Brian McCabe

Purr away ladies, purr away.